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Achievement
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I'm a vegan

Completion progress

Rank	190028
Achievements	1229 (677.11 points)
Number of games and DLCs	98
Number of all owning games	Game details not public
Badges	14 (2354 XP)
Member since	June 11, 2011
Total playing time	3371.6 hours
Completion rate	0.0 %
Real name	Pretty Fly for a White Guy

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I used to masturbate onto birds at a local park. Not a thing that I'm particularly proud of but I became quite good at it. I was taking zinc supplements so I was shooting massive loads and it became something of a sport to me. For anyone interested here is your best strategy. first, you need to find an isolated spot so you don't become a sex offender. I found a short kind of channel area where I saw the pigeons would congregate. Next, you arouse yourself. I was usually content with envisioning the occasional jogging lady coming over and taking a ♥♥♥♥ on my chest and that was enough to fuel the fire but if you're not as sexually charged as me just take some porn on the go. After you're good an horny, you get some bread. My pigeons preferred white bread but healthier birds might have a taste for honey wheat or maybe even multigrain. Fat, unhealthy birds are slower and easier to hit so remember that. Once you are seated on the bench and ready to do the deed, whip your roosevelt out and scatter bread out within a few feet of you. use your judgement based on how far you know you can ♥♥♥. I was a lonely and depraved soul who could hit targets the size of a thimble at distances up to 4 feet. You wait for the pigeons to begin eating and to get comfortable with your presence. At this point, you want to coo gently and talk sensually to them to gain their trust. Now you're finally ready to ♥♥♥ on your bird. This is a tough part because the rapid motion of masturbation is very frightening to the birds, so you have to be subtle. Once you master a technique, you simply wind it up and let it go, aiming depending on your past ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ experiences. I always came high so I would aim for the neck of the bird and catch it right in the face. It's an extremely satisfying and erotic feeling, seeing those birds reel around covered in ♥♥♥ and maybe even transporting it to other places in the city. Either way I haven't done it in years but every now and then I catch myself gazing wistfully at a flock of birds, ♥♥♥♥ throbbing and waiting for them to land close to me.

Achievements

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Game		#	Unlocked achievements				Locked achievements
Game		#	Current best	#	Points	%	Next easiest	#	Points	%
	A Virus Named TOM	44	-1	0	0.00	0	0.5249495506	44	82.99	100
	AdVenture Capitalist	31	0.5933011174	13	5.19	41.9	0.4780232608	18	14.42	58.1
	Age of Empires II (2013)	196	1.2408238649	33	17.22	16.8	0.5638479590	163	254.31	83.2
	Age of Empires II (2013): The African Kingdoms	31	0.2223737985	1	0.22	3.2	0.2206545472	30	27.90	96.8
	Awesomenauts	59	1.8324562311	50	49.40	84.7	1.7573547363	9	16.61	15.3
	Bastion	24	0.3034197092	2	0.47	8.3	0.3097262681	22	21.94	91.7
	The Binding of Isaac	60	0.4474627674	10	3.11	16.7	0.4602298439	50	40.41	83.3
	BIT.TRIP Presents... Runner2: Future Legend of Rhythm Alien	26	0.4932308793	3	1.29	11.5	0.5115792155	23	25.65	88.5
	Borderlands 2	50	0.2912205160	9	1.61	18	0.2343945801	41	25.06	82
	Broforce	17	0.6979938149	2	0.95	11.8	0.2765790224	15	18.85	88.2
	Brütal Legend	59	-1	0	0.00	0	0.4760758877	59	90.57	100
	Castle Crashers	12	0.9508970380	2	1.60	16.7	0.3013142049	10	9.95	83.3
	Chivalry: Medieval Warfare	49	1.5719257593	36	39.42	73.5	1.1003965139	13	20.84	26.5
	Cities: Skylines	35	1.4347610474	26	22.57	74.3	0.6543054581	9	10.76	25.7
	Cities: Skylines - Snowfall	11	0.0915742442	1	0.09	9.1	0.0908081383	10	9.44	90.9
	Clicker Heroes	111	0.3369413912	15	2.30	13.5	0.2046405375	96	72.76	86.5
	Cook, Serve, Delicious!	52	0.6519839764	1	0.65	1.9	0.7074585557	51	67.52	98.1
	Counter-Strike 2	1	-1	0	0.00	0	1.0548437834	1	1.05	100
	DayZ	13	-1	0	0.00	0	0.9571214318	13	22.69	100
	Dirty Bomb	77	-1	0	0.00	0	0.5400354862	77	122.51	100
	Divinity: Original Sin (Classic)	63	-1	0	0.00	0	0.5454425812	63	75.70	100
	Divinity: Original Sin Enhanced Edition	54	1.4169298410	33	28.36	61.1	0.4934251904	21	24.43	38.9
	DLC Quest	22	0.2095929533	6	0.86	27.3	0.1642789096	16	7.80	72.7
	Double Action: Boogaloo	31	-1	0	0.00	0	1.8803250790	31	87.21	100
	Dr. Langeskov, The Tiger, and The Terribly Cursed Emerald: A Whirlwind Heist	6	0.3263461292	1	0.33	16.7	0.6786473989	5	3.98	83.3
	Duke Nukem 3D: Megaton Edition	20	-1	0	0.00	0	0.4939429462	20	20.78	100
	Dungeon Defenders	78	0.5843412280	6	2.71	7.7	0.5280235410	72	105.27	92.3
	Dungeon Defenders II	18	-1	0	0.00	0	0.3407682180	18	17.54	100
	Eets Munchies	14	-1	0	0.00	0	0.7639656067	14	16.56	100
	The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim	50	0.7079030275	31	10.31	62	0.3683694303	19	11.48	38
	The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim - Dawnguard	10	0.4505062699	3	1.14	30	0.4756508470	7	4.90	70
	The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim - Dragonborn	10	0.6769118905	8	4.09	80	0.8241965175	2	1.73	20
	The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim - Hearthfire	5	0.4499576688	3	1.17	60	0.7648938298	2	1.67	40
	The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim Special Edition	75	-1	0	0.00	0	0.2936173975	75	68.47	100
	Electronic Super Joy	31	1.1065014601	4	3.51	12.9	0.9441549182	27	45.20	87.1
	Fallout 4	50	1.0295579433	40	16.48	80	0.6866196990	10	8.85	20
	Fallout: New Vegas	50	1.0103250742	24	13.70	48	0.4434845746	26	26.52	52
	Fallout New Vegas: Dead Money	5	0.8149968982	4	2.75	80	0.5772106051	1	0.58	20
	Fallout New Vegas: Honest Hearts	5	0.7480546236	4	2.67	80	0.9427770972	1	0.94	20
	Fallout New Vegas: Old World Blues	5	0.0991202518	3	0.20	60	0.0876991078	2	0.18	40
	Fallout New Vegas®: Gun Runners’ Arsenal™	5	0.1348306239	1	0.13	20	0.0671259537	4	2.05	80
	FEZ	12	-1	0	0.00	0	0.2674513757	12	9.57	100
	Garry's Mod	29	0.4153781533	6	1.30	20.7	0.5624005198	23	25.58	79.3
	Gauntlet™	43	0.5909069777	3	1.26	7	0.3190243542	40	56.41	93
	Golf With Your Friends	71	0.5680016875	14	4.57	19.7	0.3820753992	57	88.08	80.3
	Grand Theft Auto V	77	0.6646458507	17	5.48	22.1	0.2146682739	60	48.28	77.9
	Hammerwatch	38	1.7222884893	21	25.13	55.3	1.0005847216	17	29.76	44.7
	Hotline Miami	35	0.5117691755	10	3.54	28.6	0.2623979747	25	23.46	71.4
	Hotline Miami 2: Wrong Number	29	0.7319748402	11	5.91	37.9	0.7123479843	18	19.81	62.1
	Insurgency	100	1.1891613007	10	8.11	10	0.4766579866	90	137.20	90
	Jotun: Valhalla Edition	36	-1	0	0.00	0	0.9394015670	36	69.00	100
	Kingdom Rush	74	1.0935665369	59	36.73	79.7	0.5742259622	15	13.49	20.3
	L.A. Noire	40	0.6062923074	11	4.67	27.5	0.4758608639	29	29.19	72.5
	L.A. Noire: DLC Bundle	20	0.0310504083	1	0.03	5	0.0483573601	19	8.95	95
	Left 4 Dead 2	101	0.8013272882	11	5.33	10.9	0.2309495509	90	99.76	89.1
	LIMBO	13	-1	0	0.00	0	0.4503718913	13	11.61	100
	The Lord of the Rings: War in the North	46	1.2260912657	28	22.65	60.9	0.9359784722	18	23.29	39.1
	Magicka	52	0.9923596978	30	12.13	57.7	0.6660698652	22	27.08	42.3
	Magicka: Vietnam	2	-1	0	0.00	0	1.3468892574	2	2.80	100
	Mark of the Ninja	30	-1	0	0.00	0	0.1810197532	30	23.47	100
	Monaco	13	0.6161146760	2	1.20	15.4	1.3310976028	11	19.63	84.6
	Mount & Blade: Warband	80	0.7731153965	8	3.62	11.3	0.3068123460	72-1	67.48	88.8
	Natural Selection 2	137	-1	0	0.00	0	1.1230840683	137	393.97	100
	No Time To Explain Remastered	9	-1	0	0.00	0	1.6105667353	9	17.90	100
	Path of Exile	127	-1	0	0.00	0	0.3444503844	127	143.30	100
	PAYDAY 2	701	0.7158354521	17	5.36	2.4	0.3903082907	684	795.66	97.6
	PAYDAY 2: Gage Weapon Pack #02	10	0.0072865309	1	0.01	10	0.5248478055	9	6.13	90
	Picross Touch	18	0.8759154677	12	7.26	66.7	0.8100740314	6	5.82	33.3
	Pillars of Eternity	31	0.6851926446	3	1.92	9.7	0.5920327902	28	37.98	90.3
	Portal 2	51	0.8083235025	26	9.69	51	0.4011538923	25	21.98	49
	Quake Live	58	-1	0	0.00	0	0.6515867114	58	99.60	100
	Realm of the Mad God Exalt	31	-1	0	0.00	0	0.2553737462	31	38.09	100
	Risk of Rain (2013)	15	0.7654593587	10	4.94	66.7	0.7679519653	5	4.51	33.3
	Rivals of Aether	30	-1	0	0.00	0	0.7184541821	30	40.62	100
	Rocket League	72	0.6005251408	36	6.91	50	0.2410656661	36	21.35	50
	Rocketbirds: Hardboiled Chicken	29	1.1741834879	5	4.62	17.2	1.0858396292	24	36.37	82.8
	Rocksmith® 2014 Edition - Remastered	47	0.8300982118	12	7.23	25.5	0.5601834655	35	48.06	74.5
	Rogue Legacy	29	0.6144737601	16	6.19	55.2	0.6299268007	13	14.81	44.8
	Sanctum 2	43	1.5012098551	8	5.49	18.6	0.6608329415	35	59.22	81.4
	Simply Chess	10	-1	0	0.00	0	1.0054296255	10	17.29	100
	SMITE	319	1.2800216675	20	14.81	6.3	0.4765658975	299	438.88	93.7
	Space Engineers	29	-1	0	0.00	0	0.5591074228	29	48.75	100
	SpeedRunners	29	1.1870201826	14	7.77	48.3	0.7877780795	15	18.97	51.7
	The Stanley Parable	10	0.3424509466	5	1.22	50	0.4832658470	5	3.96	50
	SteamWorld Dig	24	1.2225767374	15	11.17	62.5	0.8219452500	9	13.00	37.5
	Super Meat Boy	48	0.3537203372	2	0.56	4.2	0.5838759542	46	66.11	95.8
	Swords and Soldiers HD	21	1.5620496273	6	6.81	28.6	1.0437351465	15	26.46	71.4
	Team Fortress 2	520	1.0708042383	252	128.72	49.2	0.3747856021	268-4	234.80	50.8
	Teleglitch: Die More Edition	39	-1	0	0.00	0	0.6827300191	39	76.10	100
	Terraria	115	0.2061578184	6	1.05	5.2	0.2229539156	109	74.81	94.8
	Torchlight II	119	1.0176489353	28	8.05	23.5	0.2243684828	91	88.38	76.5
	Toribash	106	-1	0	0.00	0	0.5246477127	106	252.95	100
	Trine 2	66	0.4113124907	3	1.06	4.5	0.4298608303	63	70.21	95.5
	Volgarr the Viking	20	1.0112822056	7	5.75	35	1.3706116676	13	22.44	65
	VVVVVV	19	-1	0	0.00	0	1.0284146070	19	33.92	100
	Warframe	193	0.6965039372	48	21.62	25.9	0.6031243205	145-2	142.05	74.1
	XCOM: Enemy Unknown	50	1.0497896671	39	19.43	78	1.1503149271	11	16.34	22
	XCOM: Enemy Within	30	1.1848343611	21	13.32	70	0.7222661972	9	9.53	30

Profile was last updated on April 21, 2023 at 07:54 PM.

Next automatic update on April 21, 2024 at 05:28 AM.