| Stage | Level | XP | Unlockers | |
|---|---|---|---|---|
 |
Emperor of The Skein | 1 | 100 | 1 |
 |
King of the Eternally Absurd | 5 | 500 | 34 |
 |
Duke of the Sacred Boil | 4 | 400 | 3 |
 |
Viceroy of the Wayward Nappy | 3 | 300 | 0 |
 |
Baron of the Fleeting Tickle | 2 | 200 | 13 |
 |
Lord of the Whimpering Potato | 1 | 100 | 93 |