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14.3 hours playing time on record

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Game Achievement Points Unlocked
Safety First Safety First 1.53 11/11/2019 14:14:30
Everyone survives having sex in a trash-compactor full of needles.
Sleep No More Sleep No More 1.67 10/08/2019 00:53:50
Don't let sleeping dongs lie.
Summer Job Summer Job 1.36 10/08/2019 00:30:54
Reminisce about your care-free days as a cactus picker.
Meet Your Maker Meet Your Maker 1.52 10/08/2019 00:29:43
Penetrate God.
Early Bird Early Bird 1.62 10/08/2019 00:04:42
Swallow every worm.
Magnetic Basshole Magnetic Basshole 1.51 07/16/2019 20:20:52
Win Lights Out in under five seconds.
Fussy Lover Fussy Lover 1.81 07/06/2019 23:58:48
Save yourself for that special orgy.
Spare Wheel Spare Wheel 1.37 07/06/2019 18:36:51
Be the only one locked out of an ouroborus.
The Perfect Partner The Perfect Partner 1.41 01/11/2019 16:58:24
Marry yourself in Abstinence.
Clumsy Clumsy 1.26 07/26/2018 20:02:55
Die a lot of times in your nightmares.
Bulking Gear Bulking Gear 1.65 07/26/2018 19:58:35
Use all the "supplements" you can for maximal gains.
Swan Tamer Swan Tamer 1.04 07/26/2018 19:49:41
Make peace with a gaggle of swans. Their natural instinct is to kill.
Master Unlocker Master Unlocker 1.46 07/22/2018 18:34:31
Collect enough milk to fill the tank.
Always Finishes First Always Finishes First 1.19 07/22/2018 18:26:48
Good at video games. Terrible at sex.
Appalling Appetite Appalling Appetite 1.74 07/16/2018 07:02:58
You should see a doctor immediately.
Paperwork Paperwork 1.61 07/16/2018 06:34:29
Submit your monthly physical report.
My Precious My Precious 1.51 07/09/2018 16:30:16
Get all of the rings in Lord of the Rings.
Couch Party Couch Party 1.74 07/08/2018 02:15:59
Have enough friends and enough controllers to play an 8 player game.
Autopaedicatio Autopaedicatio 1.24 07/08/2018 02:13:05
Penetrate yourself in Traditional Mode.
Most Improved Tapulator Most Improved Tapulator 1.35 07/08/2018 02:03:43
Learn how to literally just navigate the main menu.
A Better John A Better John 1.00 07/08/2018 01:57:40
Start taking responsibility for you actions.
Self Defence Self Defence 0.90 07/08/2018 00:57:03
Use the cake knife to defend yourself from wedding guests.
Popcorn Buffet Popcorn Buffet 1.43 07/08/2018 00:53:00
Eat a disgusting amount of popcorn.
Fire Inspector Fire Inspector 0.65 07/08/2018 00:08:37
Safely deploy all the fire extinguishers. For safety.
Go Right Go Right 0.53 07/07/2018 21:41:49
Move to the right.
Go Left Go Left 0.53 07/07/2018 21:41:45
Move to the left.
Till Death Do Us Till Death Do Us 1.14 07/07/2018 21:41:14
Have sex in the Date Night graveyard.
Generous Lover Generous Lover 0.65 07/07/2018 21:23:53
Finish last in a Party Mode game.

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Achievement Stats 1.23-dev
Executed 4 queries
949.72 KiB memory usage
20 crawler available

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