| Game |
Achievement |
Points |
Unlocked |
 |
 |
I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace |
0.83 | 12/17/2013 17:09:26 |
| Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit. |
|
 |
Do you even Enzyte, bro? |
0.66 | 12/15/2013 14:08:19 |
| Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it. |
|
 |
I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you |
0.54 | 12/15/2013 13:42:44 |
| Put out someone that's on fire. |
|
 |
Finkle IS Einhorn! |
0.60 | 12/15/2013 13:40:18 |
| Gave a kickoff to a severed head. |
|
 |
GOOD MORNING VIETNAM! |
0.81 | 12/15/2013 13:38:47 |
| Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm. |
|
 |
Sheriff Arpaio would be proud. |
0.73 | 12/15/2013 13:34:48 |
| Killed 30 or more people of each skin color. |
|
 |
Where's Mr. McGibblets? |
0.82 | 12/15/2013 13:22:57 |
| Gave Krotchy the bad touch. |
|
 |
OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT! |
0.69 | 12/15/2013 11:13:01 |
| Survived Wednesday. |
|
 |
C U Next Tuesday |
0.61 | 12/15/2013 10:21:52 |
| Survived Tuesday. |
|
 |
You are not alone |
0.98 | 12/14/2013 19:56:20 |
| Observed an NPC going POSTAL! |
|
 |
Duck Dynasty |
0.42 | 12/14/2013 19:51:05 |
| Used a Bass Sniffer Radar. |
|
 |
Friend of Dorothy |
0.38 | 12/14/2013 19:41:03 |
| Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level. |
|
 |
It's sterile and I like the taste |
0.54 | 12/14/2013 19:40:01 |
| Sucked down your own piss. |
|
 |
I don't need virgins for this |
1.13 | 12/14/2013 19:38:15 |
| Suicide-bombed a Taliban member. |
|
 |
Taxidermy with Chuck Testa |
0.46 | 12/14/2013 19:33:38 |
| Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun. |
|
 |
Chuck Norris'd! |
0.91 | 12/14/2013 19:28:21 |
| Killed someone with a flying jump kick. |
|
 |
Well, aren't YOU a badass |
0.40 | 12/14/2013 19:27:47 |
| Kicked open a door. |
|
 |
Officer McLovin' |
0.49 | 12/14/2013 19:25:11 |
| Asked a police officer to sign your petition. |
|
 |
It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway |
0.65 | 12/14/2013 19:24:31 |
| Killed someone who refused to sign your petition. |
|
 |
Someone's got a case of the Mondays! |
0.44 | 12/14/2013 18:59:35 |
| Survived Monday. |
|
 |
It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog |
0.61 | 12/14/2013 16:25:01 |
| Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head. |
|
 |
Here, Wilfred |
0.47 | 12/14/2013 16:25:00 |
| Gained your first dog helper. |
|
 |
Fur Sure! |
0.68 | 12/14/2013 16:20:49 |
| Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them. |
|
 |
R. Kelly's Protege |
0.34 | 12/14/2013 16:15:28 |
| Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it. |
|
 |
Lieberman is our Leader! |
0.64 | 12/14/2013 16:13:30 |
| Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office. |
| Game |
Achievement |
Points |
|
 |
Chapelle's Show |
1.01 |
| Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut. |
|
 |
Michonne ain't got nothin' on me |
1.29 |
| Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes. |
|
 |
It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays |
0.78 |
| Survived Thursday. |
|
 |
Workin' for the Weekend |
0.83 |
| Survived Friday. |
|
 |
Screw Bill Lumbergh! |
0.90 |
| Survived Saturday. |
|
 |
I swear, I thought it was a home fill |
0.99 |
| Exploded a nuclear bomb. |
|
 |
Cesar Millan is Very Happy |
1.18 |
| Mauled 30 people with your dog. |
|
 |
OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale |
0.79 |
| Roasted 30 people with fire. |
|
 |
Rebecca Black's Nightmare |
1.02 |
| Totaled 30 cars. |
|
 |
Hello, Newman |
1.22 |
| Kicked 30 dogs. |
|
 |
Darth Maul'd! |
0.92 |
| Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe. |
|
 |
Reddit would be proud. |
1.02 |
| Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time. |
|
 |
Pussy on a Pedestal |
1.20 |
| Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun. |
|
 |
Uncle T-Bag |
1.22 |
| Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell. |
|
 |
Running With Scissors |
1.03 |
| Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors. |
|
 |
Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This! |
0.85 |
| Killed over 1,000 people. |
|
 |
And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree |
0.79 |
| Killed all of the book protestors in the library. |
|
 |
Can't Touch This |
0.86 |
| Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face. |
|
 |
Fear and Loathing |
1.30 |
| Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session. |
|
 |
Señor Cornballer |
1.07 |
| Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform. |
|
 |
Rick Grimes 4 Life |
1.04 |
| Made 30 zombies lose their heads. |
|
 |
Anustart! |
1.39 |
| Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills. |
|
 |
40 Year Old Virgin |
1.42 |
| Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.) |
|
 |
CAN YOU DIG IT?! |
1.45 |
| Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.) |
|
 |
Planet of the Apes: The Musical |
1.40 |
| Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty. |
|
 |
Scientology Level: OT VIII |
1.51 |
| Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty. |
|
 |
Anger Management With Roger Clemens |
1.05 |
| Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer. |
|
 |
Shiva Blast |
1.03 |
| "Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow. |
|
 |
Don't taze me, bro! |
1.19 |
| Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform. |
|
 |
I Am Legend |
1.02 |
| Committed suicide... the Taliban way. |
|
 |
I should buy a boat |
1.07 |
| Read the newspaper every day. |
|
 |
Paid the Piper |
0.94 |
| Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest. |
|
 |
FAB-U-LOUS! |
0.89 |
| Wore all three outfits. |
|
 |
A-Rod Who? |
1.07 |
| Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel. |
|
 |
Door Mat |
0.87 |
| Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them. |
|
 |
One time, at band camp... |
1.14 |
| Saved the marching band from explody death. |
|
 |
There's always money in the banana stand |
1.04 |
| Found the secret bank exit on Monday. |
|
 |
SCREW that game! |
1.28 |
| Found the hidden copy of POSTAL III and peed on it. |
|
 |
Found 'em faster than GWB |
1.07 |
| Discovered the hidden Taliban base. |
|
 |
Gotta pay the Troll Toll |
0.83 |
| Found one of the hidden underground sewers. |
|
 |
John Rambo'd! |
1.17 |
| Made a very long killing spree. |
|
 |
Gary vs. The K. Man |
1.33 |
| Discovered the Gary vs. Krotchy arena during the Apocalypse. |
|
 |
Thanks for the money! |
1.03 |
| Finished all seven days. |
|
 |
I'm not even supposed to be here today! |
1.06 |
| Waited 13 real world years to see an in-game Easter egg. Thanks for sticking with us! |
